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Many people in long-term relationships can fall into particular patterns or routines — how sex is instigated, what positions you use, what time of day you do it. That said, there is a lot that can be done to spice up a sex life. Some of the things that people mention they miss in longer-term relationships include novelty, mystery and playfulness.
As such, anything we can do to help address or inject these missing elements back into your sex life is likely to create a difference.
Here are ten things to try…. Interests and turn-ons often change over time, so think about creating a flirtatious and sexy space to explore these with your partner. You could try playful texting, using a separate app such as Wickr Me to add an element of novelty to your messaging — and use it only for more flirtatious communication. This way, you can play around and add an element of mystery to your talks. It can certainly make regular days a little more exciting if, via your secretive messaging app, you suddenly receive a provocative photograph of your partner when you least expect it.
Always make time for date nights — be they planned or spontaneous. Instead, mix it up a bit. It can be exciting to meet someone after work, or head to a hotel where your partner is already waiting. Even in lockdown, you can inject a lot of variety into date night just by mixing things up.
Playfully initiate something when you partner returns from somewhere. Make time for fun, light and enjoyable experiences. Why not dim the lights, put on some music and make cocktails together? Role-play can be good fun. Some people may feel more comfortable starting with an app such as Dipsea to help generate ideas.
Just remember, if you want to broach the subject of role-play with your partner, it will be helpful to keep it playful and express your interests in a fun way. People are more likely to wobble in a relationship if they feel their partner is bored of their sex life or looking outside of the relationship for inspiration — so the way you approach the subject is really important.
In fact, it can just mean mixing things up a bit. Instigate sex in a different room, your partner in the shower, try to experiment with foreplay — and other things like this. Perhaps even express your interest in sharing fantasies. To do this, create a safe space — maybe discussing fantasies over a glass of wine, or while giving each other sensual massages.
Quickies, danger and high-thrill sexual acts will certainly spice up your sexual experiences — and can work very well to mix things up. Spend 20 minutes focusing your attentions on each other — with scented candles and calm music in the background — and focus on the sensations this brings out in your body.
Try to vary the amount of pressure, or how you touch your partner — and explore every part of the body with hands, lips, oils, silk, feathers etc. It can be extremely sensual and beneficial to experiment with this new approach to intimacy — and can intensify pleasurable feelings and orgasms. This could be a blindfold or oils. Maybe a vibrator that can stimulate one or both of you, a starter set. You could even buy this as a sexy surprise — if you think it would be well-received, or suggest that you search and look for things together.
Both scheduling and spontaneity can work for couples. Many people enjoy a little bit of both. Additionally, think about how you act on spontaneously intimate thoughts, perhaps by sending a flirtatious message. Definitely think about mixing it up in the bedroom. Many couples find that they tend to use three or less sexual positions and that foreplay becomes very repetitive. It might be that, on some occasions, you focus on oral sex alone — or that you include the use of oils, mirrors, chairs, clothing etc.
Just perhaps not every time! This is important. Firstly, make sure that your relationship is in a good place. Relationship satisfaction can impact sexual satisfaction, and vice-versa — so ensure you are working on your relationship in general. That means improving communication and general intimacy and closeness if this has drifted. You should have your own separate identities and differentiations as individuals. Want to learn more from Miranda Christophers?
Visit her website here…. Find out more here. Home Articles Etiquette 10 ways to spice up your sex life. Here are ten things to try… 1. Try sending flirtatious messages during the day Interests and turn-ons often change over time, so think about creating a flirtatious and sexy space to explore these with your partner. Remember to mix up your date nights Always make time for date nights — be they planned or spontaneous. Add a little danger into proceedings but not for the sake of it Quickies, danger and high-thrill sexual acts will certainly spice up your sexual experiences — and can work very well to mix things up.
Trying scheduling — but also be spontaneous Both scheduling and spontaneity can work for couples. Stop repeating yourselves in the bedroom Definitely think about mixing it up in the bedroom.Looking for some fun together and sex
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