Make fun of my Savannah dick for cash

Added: Jaquanna Clymer - Date: 03.10.2021 10:13 - Views: 48364 - Clicks: 1648

Do we still have reality? Didn't we agree that all human life is a computer simulation? Existential questions make me thirsty, and so I poured myself a bucket of wine, which always makes me nostalgic for a time when life was simpler, when rich people were rich, and poor people were servants, and reality TV hosts were not holding nuclear codes. Maybe I got a little weepy, after all the drinking.

Maybe I drunk texted a magazine editor. Maybe I agreed to write this review. Why not? I live in Savannah, and I was excited about the possibility of seeing my city on television, and possibly even seeing myself somewhere in the background. Because in a post-reality society, this is how you know you're real. Honestly, I was not expecting much. In the greater American imagination, there seem to be three archetypal "Souths," which are:.

The Old South: Old money, manners, a vaguely European sense of malaise, a regard for the higher forms of Protestantism, people who speak like Foghorn Leghorn, a willful ignorance of the fact that slavery might have been not fun for certain people. The Deep South: Poor, rural, trash, salt of the earth, immersion baptism, hot, sweaty, dirty, tobacco spit, teen pregnancy, Tanya Tucker, the Klan, mules.

The New South: New money, crystal meth, hip-hop, buildings with elevators, people from somewhere else. Would this new reality show depict all three of these Souths, in their many strange contemporary manifestations? For example, while the Old South has theoretically been dead sincemany ambitious Deep South white people like to claim its heritage as their own, especially if they have gone to college and made a little money, which means it's new money, which technically makes them New South. None of this has anything to do with Southern Charm Savannahwhich is a show about white people drinking wine.

As I consumed my first episode of Southern Charm SavannahI also consumed the day's first box of wine. I was prepared to dislike the show for all the usual Make fun of my Savannah dick for cash affluent young people ugh from established families gross spend all their time discussing how difficult it is to be affluent, young, and established boring. But about halfway through the premiere episode, it became quite obvious that the characters are only pretending to be affluent and young, which makes them quite similar to almost every other person I know in Savannah, which made it seem, I don't know, almost like reality.

I am quite pleased to inform you that this new reality show gets almost everything right about my city, hitting the major areas of interest for which Savannah is known, internationally. Gentility and breeding matter in this city, and this ethos is alive and well on Southern Charm Savannah. For example, at a party in episode one, one of the female characters disrobes and jumps into the river.

A slightly more respectable female character looks on this disaster with disdain, remarking, "When you have a husband andyou don't just take your clothes off at an adult party. Classic Savannah. After living here for 11 years, I can say with surety that the highest aspiration of the typical native Savannahian is to own a boat.

Boats play an important social function in our community, providing opportunities for young people to learn how to more effectively drink and drive. Boats promise to play a big role in this new show, and I fully expect someone, at some point, to fall drunkenly out of one.

As evidenced by cast member Daniel's Instagram video below. Our city has always been diverse, full of rich and poor, boat people and non-boat people, trash and blueblood, but one thing all Savannahians have in common is our love of alcohol. The show seems to understand this truth implicitly, as drinking seems to occur in almost every frame. In one scene, Daniel, the show's rakish playboy, offers a beer to his cleaning lady. Later, Ashley, the show's tattooed vamp, learns that her house is on fire, and her friends rush to follow her out, but first get their drinks in a go-cup.

This, perhaps, is the most honest and realistic moment of the show. The show's characters embody a shared passion for history, which still counts for something in Savannah. After all, two wars have been fought in our city. Blood is in the topsoil. At one point, Catherine, who we are told is a graduate of the University of Georgia, elaborates on her family's long history in Savannah, going back to the Colonial Era. When she is asked what she knows about this period, she answers, "I know there was thirteen colonies, right? Savannah is a city of steeples, a fact Make fun of my Savannah dick for cash show acknowledges through many dramatic shots of these architectural oddities.

But what is their purpose? Viewers are at a loss. There is no talk of what happens inside the steeples, despite the fact that the steeples are attached to large capacious buildings into which strange people can be seen gathering quite often. What could draw them to these steeples? A large buffet? Nobody knows. Southern Charm Savannah does a great job at creating a sense of mystery about this strange phenomenon in our city. Native Savannahians of all ages care deeply about high school. Where you went, where they went, how much fun it was, dry-humping one another on all those boats of yesteryear.

The show nails this truth without irony. Most of the characters on Southern Charm Savannah graduated from Savannah Country Day, which is a fine school, I am told, with rigorous academics, focused largely on educating students about the correct of American colonies. The show's storylines are what you might expect. Will Lyle pop the question? Will "outsider" Hannah ever feel at home here? Can Louis's sock business thrive in a sockless city? Will Daniel's housekeeper ever take that beer? Is Nelson gay or merely foppish? Where will Ashley disrobe next? Is Happy sometimes sad? Can Catherine find Georgia on a map?

I'll say this: The cast seem like nice people.

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They do their lines as naturally as any non-actor can with a camera rolling. They take off their clothes on cue and stage quirky dialogue and violent emotional breakdowns when called upon, like professionals. As silly as we all seem to agree that reality TV is in our post-reality world, there's something quite comforting about neighbors who are willing to reveal their human flaws in front of millions of viewers in exchange for a small fee.

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